SmallCityDave_imp
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***Moderators note...please read to the end to get the real gist of this post.
I love motorcycles, and I love riding. Like many of you, what first drew me
to bikes was not just the experience of riding, but the feeling that I'd
become part of a special community-a brotherhood, really. Nothing calms me
more than a long ride down the interstate, waving to the members of my
beloved clan. Except when I pass Harley guys. I hate Harley guys. Hate,
hate, hate. When they pass me on the highway, you know what I do? I don't
wave. With their little tassle handlebars and the studded luggage and the
half-helmets-God, they drive me crazy.
You know who else I hate? BMW guys. Oh, I do hate those guys. I don't wave
at them, either. They think they're so great, sitting all upright, with
their 180-degree German engines. God, I hate them. They're almost as bad as
those old bastards on their touring motorcycles. You know what I call those
bikes? \"Two-wheeled couches!\" Get it? Because they're so big. They drive
around like they've got all day. Appreciate the scenery somewhere else,
Grampa, and while you're at it, I'm not waving to you.
Ducati guys-I don't wave at them either. Why don't they spend a little more
money on their bikes? \"You can have it in any color you want, as long as
it's red.\" Aren't you cool! Like they even know what a desmo-whatever
engine is, anyway. Try finding the battery, you Italian-wannabe racers! I
never, ever wave at those guys.
Suzuki guys aren't much better, which is why I never wave at them, either.
They always have those stupid helmets sitting on top of their stupid heads,
and God forbid they should wear any safety gear. They make me so mad.
Sometimes they'll speed by and look over at me and you know what I do? I
don't wave. I just keep on going. Please, don't get me started on Kawasaki
guys. Ninjas? What are you, twelve years old? Team Green my "O Ring". I
never
wave at Kawasaki guys.
I ride a Honda, and I'll only wave at Honda guys, but even then, I'll never
wave at a guy in full leathers. Never, never, never. Yeah, like you're
going to get your knee down on the New York Thruway. Nice crotch, by the
way. Guys in full leathers will never get a wave from me, and by the way,
neither will the guys in two-piece leathers. And I'll tell you who else I'm
not waving at-those guys with the helmets with the loud paintjobs. Four
pounds of paint on a two pound helmet-like I'm going to wave back to that!
I'll also never wave at someone with a mirrored visor. Or helmet stickers.
Or racing gloves. Or hiking boots.
To me, motorcycling is a like a family, a close-knit brotherhood of people
who ride Hondas, wear jeans and a leather jacket (not Vanson) with regular
gloves and a solid-color helmet with a clear visor, no stickers, no racing
gloves and regular boots (not Timberlands). And isn't that what really
makes riding so special?
To Wave or Not to Wave
By Shalom Auslander
(Hopefully you guys get a chuckle out of this, as I do every time I read it.)
I love motorcycles, and I love riding. Like many of you, what first drew me
to bikes was not just the experience of riding, but the feeling that I'd
become part of a special community-a brotherhood, really. Nothing calms me
more than a long ride down the interstate, waving to the members of my
beloved clan. Except when I pass Harley guys. I hate Harley guys. Hate,
hate, hate. When they pass me on the highway, you know what I do? I don't
wave. With their little tassle handlebars and the studded luggage and the
half-helmets-God, they drive me crazy.
You know who else I hate? BMW guys. Oh, I do hate those guys. I don't wave
at them, either. They think they're so great, sitting all upright, with
their 180-degree German engines. God, I hate them. They're almost as bad as
those old bastards on their touring motorcycles. You know what I call those
bikes? \"Two-wheeled couches!\" Get it? Because they're so big. They drive
around like they've got all day. Appreciate the scenery somewhere else,
Grampa, and while you're at it, I'm not waving to you.
Ducati guys-I don't wave at them either. Why don't they spend a little more
money on their bikes? \"You can have it in any color you want, as long as
it's red.\" Aren't you cool! Like they even know what a desmo-whatever
engine is, anyway. Try finding the battery, you Italian-wannabe racers! I
never, ever wave at those guys.
Suzuki guys aren't much better, which is why I never wave at them, either.
They always have those stupid helmets sitting on top of their stupid heads,
and God forbid they should wear any safety gear. They make me so mad.
Sometimes they'll speed by and look over at me and you know what I do? I
don't wave. I just keep on going. Please, don't get me started on Kawasaki
guys. Ninjas? What are you, twelve years old? Team Green my "O Ring". I
never
wave at Kawasaki guys.
I ride a Honda, and I'll only wave at Honda guys, but even then, I'll never
wave at a guy in full leathers. Never, never, never. Yeah, like you're
going to get your knee down on the New York Thruway. Nice crotch, by the
way. Guys in full leathers will never get a wave from me, and by the way,
neither will the guys in two-piece leathers. And I'll tell you who else I'm
not waving at-those guys with the helmets with the loud paintjobs. Four
pounds of paint on a two pound helmet-like I'm going to wave back to that!
I'll also never wave at someone with a mirrored visor. Or helmet stickers.
Or racing gloves. Or hiking boots.
To me, motorcycling is a like a family, a close-knit brotherhood of people
who ride Hondas, wear jeans and a leather jacket (not Vanson) with regular
gloves and a solid-color helmet with a clear visor, no stickers, no racing
gloves and regular boots (not Timberlands). And isn't that what really
makes riding so special?
To Wave or Not to Wave
By Shalom Auslander
(Hopefully you guys get a chuckle out of this, as I do every time I read it.)
. I wave at everybody, BTW.
