Funny post on another forum

[Gone in 60]

I tried, Rocky, I tried... I'll have to content myself knowing that most of my neighbors wave to me as I roll through the neighborhood, as their hands aren't busy covering their ears.

But, I will say this... they guy in the office next door to mine who rides an R1 with a Two Brothers exhaust may be loud, but man, it does sound sweet.

[GoldOxide_imp]

Guy on the FJR forum posted this in a thread by someone wanting to get louder mufflers for his bike...made me laugh:

I want my exhaust as LOUD as I can get it. This accomplishes several things for me.


1. It lets my neighbors know who the Alpha Male is in our neighborhood. Nothing screams "Screw you I am more important than you are" at 3am quite like revving up my engine before work.


2. Loud Pipes Save Lives. I have saved so many lives that my hometown has staged parades for me. I am a local hero. The entire fire department, the local EMTs and the hospital staff combined have not saved as many lives as I have with my Loud Pipes. Little old ladies approach me in the grocery store to thank me for Saving them with my Loud Pipes. But I just ignore them. I am far too cool for such things with my loud pipes.


3. The Dyno has clearly shown that I can gain 0.000406 horsepower. That's a lot when you consider that my FJR only puts down about 125 at the rear tire.


4. Now I fit in with the Harley Riders. Before my Loud Pipes the HD guys would not let me ride with them. I felt like Rudolph with his red nose. They would not let me play any Reindeer Games. But now I am One of Them. We make it a point to rev our engines at gas stations, bar room parking lots and when we ride in front of nursing homes. We especially LOVE to rev the engine when we are backing into a parking spot. It makes folks think we have Reverse.


5. My loud pipes are a lot lighter than the quiet pipes. I lost 5 pounds per muffler. That weight is really low so a normal rider can't really feel it but since I am so awesome I can ride much faster than I could before. 10 pounds of weight loss from a bike that weighs 640 plus unloaded is huge! I could have gone on a diet, maybe done some exercise and lost more than 10 pounds myself but then my black leather vest with the patches wouldn't fit right anymore.




***Disclaimer*** The above monologue was Sarcasm. No one should feel insulted, slighted, offended or angry as a result of reading that sarcasm. That sarcasm was intended for entertainment purposes only. This sarcasm should not be quoted as fact nor should it be used as the basis for any decisions on the part of the reader. No animals were harmed during the typing of the sarcasm. The sarcasm does not necessarily reflect the views of this forum.

Priceless.

[DAC]

I tried, Rocky, I tried... I'll have to content myself knowing that most of my neighbors wave to me as I roll through the neighborhood, as their hands aren't busy covering their ears.

But, I will say this... they guy in the office next door to mine who rides an R1 with a Two Brothers exhaust may be loud, but man, it does sound sweet.

Funny thread and, yes, that cross-plane crank i4 is musical. That and a V4 sound great when they're a bit "uncorked".

[Stichill_imp]

The sad truth none of us are willing to even discuss, much less admit:

Quiet Pipes Kill

[Cormanus]

That’s a great topic for a winter thread, Stichill.

As I rode to Sydney the other day, the temperature was increasing and I stopped to remove a layer of gear. I pulled back into the traffic and was waiting at some traffic lights. A fore-and-aft twin Yamaha—probably about a 250—pulled up beside me. The rider, a young fella, dressed in a mean looking jacket and open-face helmet with one of those tea-towel thingies that stop you swallowing flies around the lower part of his face, nodded at me and gave the throttle a couple of blips. He’d clearly removed every sound dampening mechanism from his pipe and it gave a truly mighty roar. The older folk in the car next to me smiled and shook their heads. I think someone in a truck or delivery van with a window open must have laughed, because the lad gave a couple more generous blips followed by a generous twist of his wrist, producing an ear splitting noise.

No one died. I guess one of the older folk in the car next to me was about to have a heart attack or a burst aneurysm or something and the lad was saving them. Generous really.

He followed the CB as I made a stately progress down the highway and was still alive when last sighted.

I guess loud pipes must work.

[GoldOxide_imp]

That’s a great topic for a winter thread, Stichill.

As I rode to Sydney the other day, the temperature was increasing and I stopped to remove a layer of gear. I pulled back into the traffic and was waiting at some traffic lights. A fore-and-aft twin Yamaha—probably about a 250—pulled up beside me. The rider, a young fella, dressed in a mean looking jacket and open-face helmet with one of those tea-towel thingies that stop you swallowing flies around the lower part of his face, nodded at me and gave the throttle a couple of blips. He’d clearly removed every sound dampening mechanism from his pipe and it gave a truly mighty roar. The older folk in the car next to me smiled and shook their heads. I think someone in a truck or delivery van with a window open must have laughed, because the lad gave a couple more generous blips followed by a generous twist of his wrist, producing an ear splitting noise.

No one died. I guess one of the older folk in the car next to me was about to have a heart attack or a burst aneurysm or something and the lad was saving them. Generous really.

He followed the CB as I made a stately progress down the highway and was still alive when last sighted.

I guess loud pipes must work.

Imagine when the young fella elevates to a 1250 cc?

Bah! We'll be so deaf by then it will take a 1250 to appreciate the sound.

[Stichill_imp]

That’s a great topic for a winter thread, Stichill.

As I rode to Sydney the other day, the temperature was increasing and I stopped to remove a layer of gear. I pulled back into the traffic and was waiting at some traffic lights. A fore-and-aft twin Yamaha—probably about a 250—pulled up beside me. The rider, a young fella, dressed in a mean looking jacket and open-face helmet with one of those tea-towel thingies that stop you swallowing flies around the lower part of his face, nodded at me and gave the throttle a couple of blips. He’d clearly removed every sound dampening mechanism from his pipe and it gave a truly mighty roar. The older folk in the car next to me smiled and shook their heads. I think someone in a truck or delivery van with a window open must have laughed, because the lad gave a couple more generous blips followed by a generous twist of his wrist, producing an ear splitting noise.

No one died. I guess one of the older folk in the car next to me was about to have a heart attack or a burst aneurysm or something and the lad was saving them. Generous really.

He followed the CB as I made a stately progress down the highway and was still alive when last sighted.

I guess loud pipes must work.

[peterbaron]

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundl...-1.6102050

[GoldOxide_imp]

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundl...-1.6102050

I wonder if "Kirk" coal-rolls that Hummer?

As long as there are selfish people, there will be moments of unnecessary discomfort for everyone else. Sadly, the perpetrators are a waste of skin.

[Stichill_imp]

I have this kind of argument with some of my rural neighbors about gunfire. It's unincorporated here, and there aren't any regulations against discharging a firearm unless it's between sunset and sunrise, with exception for controlling coyotes. So some of my neighbors run with the coyote exception and go out at 2:00 am and empty a few magazines. Some people, with justification in my view, complain about it. When confronted, the midnight mag-dumpers loudly proclaim their right to do it, and anyone who says otherwise is a pantywaist who needs to move back the the suburbs where they came from. I have pointed out that the reason there aren't any regulations is that there haven't been any problems, because people have used common sense and courtesy. If they persist in this anti-social behavior, they will ironically bring about the very regulations who absence they so recklessly exploit. At which point they declare me to be somebody who might be happier living in Portland amongst my own kind.

Some people are just incapable of self-governance. You can recognize them because they are the same people who don't take the shopping cart back to the cart corral at the supermarket.