The Coronavirus Chronicles -Three Strikes You're Out

[DAC]

A COVID game. Add the next part of the conversation ...

ferret, I think your escape clause is: "When people need to leave their places of residence to perform or to otherwise facilitate authorized activities necessary for continuity of social and commercial life."

Police: "Where are you going on your beautifully restored but very dirty vintage Honda, sir?"

ferret: "Thank you Officer, but it's actually a late-model motorcycle and I like riding it but I don't like washing it. Pursuant to paragraph 17 of Ohio's Stay Safe Order, I need to leave my place of residence to perform or to otherwise facilitate authorized activities necessary for continuity of social and commercial life. So, Officer, as you can see I'm well aware of my civic duties and am absolutely complying with the order."

Police: "Mmm. It is a lovely bike and it's clear to me that you've carefully perused the order which is indeed commendable. But, I wonder whether you would mind explaining the social or commercial life being facilitated by your presence on the road today?"

Just strap a coupe rolls of toilet paper on the back. Then your aiding your "social life."

[Gone in 60]

I've found that I am not enjoying riding near my home as much as I thought I might. After a month of lockdown, while traffic in general is greatly reduced, freeway repair projects are running at full speed to take advantage of fewer cars on the road. And, construction projects are also churning away. So, unless I want to putt-putt around the neighborhood, I need to get on a highway to do anything useful, like check in at my office, ride along the coast, etc. With all of the projects going on, it seems like half of the vehicles on the freeways around me are double-trailer gravel haulers, dump trucks, and heavy equipment haulers, and they're doing 70+ with the low traffic. I can feel myself getting pelted with whatever is bouncing off of them, and am not enjoying it.

At home, my wife and I have gone though an interesting transformation. She has taken over our guest room as her office, and is working full time providing telemedicine. She's talking through the computer to her patients, which means if I'm in the house, I need to be quiet. Most of her patients are elderly, so she needs to speak loudly.

So, to keep myself busy, when I'm not working in my friend's shop, I'm working on engrossing projects in the garage. I spent two weeks reviving my Father-in-Law's old car to sell. My old garage door was getting very rotted, so I tore it down and built a new one. It's an exact duplicate of the original, and in our official HOA colors, so I won't get in trouble with the association.

Being in the garage in a small, dense condominium complex has put me in closer passing contact with neighbors, who have taken an interest in my efforts and drift by to see "Whatcha doing in the garage today?"

In doing so, many of the neighbors have been passing on their dissent about what their neighbors are doing. During normal times, everyone is gone during the day, but now, during the lockdown, people are in close quarters with everyone else all day long. This means we're all seeing and listening to everyone else much more than we normally do.

In my driveway conversations, I'm hearing "I don't know if you've noticed, but so-and-so listens to their TV too loud." "Hey, did you see that so-and-so walked their dog with no leash yesterday?" "That lady over there sneezes a lot...I swear she must have the virus!"

It makes me wonder what the neighbors say about my wife and me. "Geez, that dude is so poor he can't afford to buy a new door, so he spends all day banging away with a hammer making one." "That lady spends all day in her room yelling at herself... you can hear it in the streets!"

[LongRanger_imp]

I’m very impressed with your handiwork. The new door looks terrific!

[the Ferret]

neighbors.. gotta love em

Where I live out in the country I really can't see or hear my neighbors. The only time I know they are out of their house, is if I hear a chain saw or a mower running. Otherwise, complete silence isolation other than the birds or the wind. I do see them walking up on the street every once in a while.

I see pictures on TV of people in New York or California, or Europe living on top of each other and wonder how people retain their sanity living like that.

[Cormanus]

Like, LongRanger, I’m very impressed with your door. Nice work.

[Gone in 60]

Thanks, gentlemen. It's one of those projects that quickly went down a rabbit hole. Initially, I wanted to shore up the rotted wood skin on the door. But, once I pulled off a part of the skin, I quickly realized that the frame was rotting as well. At that point, the door was down, I had a 16' x 7' hole in my house, and was fully committed to a quick completion.

Condo dwellers aren't known to be do-it-yourselfers, so comments like "I didn't know you could just make a new door" cemented my Working Class Hero status in the neighborhood.

[Houtman_imp]

You could make money doing odd jobs for "un handy" neighbors , just do not work for young unmarried women as they often do not pay with money and black mail you later for not doing a good job.

[Gone in 60]

I sort of already do, since I have the “biggest toolbox in the neighborhood.” With the lockdown, several people in our complex are having improvement projects done on their homes. There are power tools buzzing all day.

My wife, who is always making helpful comments about how I can be more ambitious, suggested that I start a cottage industry of building garage doors for other people. I told her that I don’t really want the liability of making large objects for other people that hover over their cars and children.

[Gone in 60]

Woo Hoo! Boss Man just called. Our payroll protection loan was just funded, and everyone starts back to work tomorrow. While office staff will work out the social distancing, being the lone hermit in the warehouse, nobody comes to visit me anyway.

At least I can get back to daily riding for a legitimate purpose. And, maybe afford to buy new tires to replace the factory originals on the CB.

[pdedse]

Woo Hoo! Boss Man just called. Our payroll protection loan was just funded, and everyone starts back to work tomorrow. While office staff will work out the social distancing, being the lone hermit in the warehouse, nobody comes to visit me anyway.

At least I can get back to daily riding for a legitimate purpose. And, maybe afford to buy new tires to replace the factory originals on the CB.

That's AWESOME!! Very happy for you. I've been lucky to keep job during all this... so far.