So. Does the "one bike does all" holy grail exist? What would your pick be?

[AzBob_imp]

I have heard nothing but good about the vfr 800.

I have heard bad. VTEC bad, comes on hard suddenly like a turbocharger mid-corner. New one is supposed to be better, and a little lighter. I had four of the earlier VF and VFRs and they were great. Once it became an 800 touring bike I crossed it off my list and never owned another Honda V4. It used to be a sport/racebike but morphed into a touring bike.

The KLR crowd might suggest that their bike might be the one. As an
owner, I'd have to disagree. The big single just can't cut it on the hwy.
I've never owned a BMW GS1200 Adventure, but I've read about them,
seen them in movies, and have a friend who owns one. I bet that
bike would be the 'one ' you'd want for the one bike garage.

Agree, have owned a few KLRs. Too anemic to really take on a long ride with any authority in traffic, not bad on a fire road, suspension sucks. F700GS, well, no comparison at all. The 1200 is heavy, very heavy.

Do everything bikes exist. They're just not that exciting. The NT700 and NC700X are good examples. Very capable bikes that are flexible, just no "personality."

Problem with those bikes is they really have low-grade suspension and brakes. Not much in the way of motor either. They are commuter bikes or for entry or near-entry level riders.

One bike that can do it all MUST have excellent suspension and brakes and a good, flexible engine with a broad, usable power band.

Do it all bike, needs 80-120 HP at the rear wheel. Should be between 450-550 pounds, with high-quality, adjustable suspension for preload, compression, and rebound damping at both ends. Riding position should be reasonable. Fuel tank capacity range should be around 175-200 miles to fumes. Some adventure bikes fit the bill (F700/800GS), some naked bikes as well (CB1000, R Nine T, and FZ8 come to mind), some sport-tourers even (VFR800).

The R1200GS weighs 15 lbs. LESS than the CB1100.

I have heard nothing but good about the vfr 800.

I have heard bad. VTEC bad, comes on hard suddenly like a turbocharger mid-corner. New one is supposed to be better, and a little lighter. I had four of the earlier VF and VFRs and they were great. Once it became an 800 touring bike I crossed it off my list and never owned another Honda V4. It used to be a sport/racebike but morphed into a touring bike.

The KLR crowd might suggest that their bike might be the one. As an
owner, I'd have to disagree. The big single just can't cut it on the hwy.
I've never owned a BMW GS1200 Adventure, but I've read about them,
seen them in movies, and have a friend who owns one. I bet that
bike would be the 'one ' you'd want for the one bike garage.

Agree, have owned a few KLRs. Too anemic to really take on a long ride with any authority in traffic, not bad on a fire road, suspension sucks. F700GS, well, no comparison at all. The 1200 is heavy, very heavy.

Do everything bikes exist. They're just not that exciting. The NT700 and NC700X are good examples. Very capable bikes that are flexible, just no "personality."

Problem with those bikes is they really have low-grade suspension and brakes. Not much in the way of motor either. They are commuter bikes or for entry or near-entry level riders.

One bike that can do it all MUST have excellent suspension and brakes and a good, flexible engine with a broad, usable power band.

Do it all bike, needs 80-120 HP at the rear wheel. Should be between 450-550 pounds, with high-quality, adjustable suspension for preload, compression, and rebound damping at both ends. Riding position should be reasonable. Fuel tank capacity range should be around 175-200 miles to fumes. Some adventure bikes fit the bill (F700/800GS), some naked bikes as well (CB1000, R Nine T, and FZ8 come to mind), some sport-tourers even (VFR800).

The R1200GS you commented on meets every one of your criteria (which I agree with, but would expand to include good wind protection, cruise control, and shaft drive). The R1200GS Adventure even more so. It has cruise control, excellent wind protection, heated grips, excellent load carrying capacity, a huge gas tank, and can go way, way off-road. IMO, the R1200GS Adventure is the DEFINITIVE "do everything" bike. Especially in 2014. I am well aware of the "problems" BMW bikes have had over the past few years (most revolving around the new K bike). Just about every one of the issues has been resolved, and the BMW's carry a three-year, unlimited mileage warranty, so you're protected a lot longer than most other brands. Granted, the seat height of the R1200GS is a bit high, so the height-challenged probably would not like this bike all that much, but I know that people barely over 5' tall own them and ride them at the stock height and love them. The Ducati Multistrada is also a contender here, depending on whether you more highly favor being able to go off-road, or go fast (although it has no cruise control, there is an aftermarket solution). As is the Super Tenere (which is now available with cruise control).

Other than the BMW R1200RT (which is more of luxury tourer), no current sport-tourers meet all of your criteria (they all go over your weight restriction by at least 100lbs) (FJR is 637 lbs, Concours 14 is 688, K1600GT is 732). I wouldn't call the VFR800 a sport-tourer (it has to come with panniers to get that designation, in my opinion), however, once you put the panniers on it, it's coming perilously close to the upper limit of your weight restriction (it's 529lbs without bags).