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+--- Thread: Confessions of a born again noob (/showthread.php?tid=3311)
Confessions of a born again noob - Insolentsquid_imp - 08-19-2014
Dear reader,
Some of you, I know followed my exploits in the run up to CB ownership.
You may recall my narrow escape from the Kawasaki sales babe, the Clearing Of The Garage, my traumatic test ride, the total failure of my negotiating skills with the Honda salesman, and the warm glow of ownership mirroring the little red glow in the centre of the Honda badge.
So, you may ask, how's the squid getting on?; has he, as Cager would say, been giving the beans to it?, are there scuffed patches on his leathers at knee and elbow?, has the Institute of Advanced Motorists been clamouring for his advice in a consultancy role? Do police motorcyclists bow down and proclaim "we're not worthy" as he glides past?
No, gentle reader, let me tell you what the squid did on his second day of ownership.
He dropped it.
Surely, you proclaim, he must have been on the very edge of the envelope, gonads dangling in the slipstream, steely eyes fixed on the vanishing point, rear end squirming and juddering under power.....
No.
Sadly, he was pulling out of a junction onto a completely empty road when, at walking pace, he stalled it, and failed to pull the clutch in.
The bike which was practically stationary by then, did a passable imitation of a felled redwood tree, with pretty much the same terrible unstoppable momentum.
That didn't stop the squid from trying to stop it though, oh no, never let it be said that the squid was ever put off by trifles such as the laws of physics.
The bike suffered a few, barely noticeable scratches on the mirror, brake handle, engine cover, and exhaust (and I'm sure the brake pedal was always at that angle).
Sadly, all that energy had to go somewhere, and the squid suffered a torn hamstring, and pulled muscles in his arm.
(Not too painful, but the bruising that came out a week later was biblically spectacular in colour and extent)
Needless to say, there were bystanders who saw the whole sorry incident and rushed over to help.
None of the inconsiderate so and sos had the grace to turn away and let me die of embarrassment in peace.
On the plus side, I can report that the 'bum against the seat, back to the bike, hold grip and pillion handle, and walk backward' method of lifting the bike works a treat, as does the 'engine cutout on falling over'.
Ho Hum.
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - Randy B - 08-19-2014
I need to go down to the garage and snap some pics of the "box-o-parts" I picked up from the dealer where my bike is under repair. Then maybe you won't feel quite so bad about your little spill.
Besides.....it has happened, or will happen, to all of us at one point or another.
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - Papa Weeley_imp - 08-19-2014
Hahahaha. I'm sorry, I'm laughing with you, not at you I swear! Very well written, Squid, and "a right larf", if I may say so.
There seems to be an alarmingly high number of "drops" of these bikes at low speed or even standing still. Even I fell victim to the old axiom of "an object in motion (falling over) will remain in motion"...and there's nothing your scrawny ass can do to stop said motion until the object (your pride and joy CB) touches ground. I was one of the lucky ones (if such a term really applies here), and mine was sitting still on the carpeted floor of the lobby of my office when it decided to assume a lounging position. The CB seems to carry a considerable amount of its weight very high - my Bonneville is only about 40 lbs. lighter, but it feels more like about 200 lbs. difference, especially at low speeds.
So, just consider yourself a full-fledged member of the club now. Once your pride and bruises have healed, buy some bright and shiny new replacement parts, and it'll all be just an odd, distant memory.
Confessions of a born again noob - Cormanus - 08-19-2014
So many illusions shattered in one brief, but beautifully written, post.
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - HikerToo_imp - 08-19-2014
now that you got that out of your system......carry on.
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - Todd_K_imp - 08-19-2014
It could be said that if you never had the experience, the words "Gonads in the slipstream" would never have been typed. A silver lining if I ever saw one.
I had about the same exact experience on my second day of ownership, minus the ground contact (a miracle). It does get better
. Hoping for a quick recovery!
Confessions of a born again noob - Pauley - 08-19-2014
From one noob to another: carry on!
Confessions of a born again noob - Elipten_imp - 08-19-2014
Most sorry to hear about the ham string. Good luck on healing it. The bike sounds easily fixed. Your sense of pride, oh well.
Get well, ride safe
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - Headbanger02_imp - 08-19-2014
Damn, a man of few words....I've had a couple of near misses myself, I parked on a slight down hill on the side of the road at the cemetery one day,I put the kick stand down and as I was in the middle of getting off the bike with my hands almost kinda still on the grips, it started to roll forward and almost put the kick stand back up and had to use all of my might to keep it from falling over, stung the back a little bit, felt lucky though, lesson learned...
RE: Confessions of a born again noob - Short Timer_imp - 08-19-2014
Well, Mate, if you ever decide professional motor sports isn't your line, ya have a very promising future as a writer.
Sorry about yer machine, but just know yer in good company.
